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STORIES OF AMAZING RECOVERIES
Submitted by: C. Joy bishop
Contact Via: Cjoybishop1@msn.com
ANTHONY is, by biological definition (or error), my step-son, but since he was three years old, he has been the child of my
heart. Living with me for much of hid life, he referred to me as his "other mom", as if every child has one. Since he was a
little boy, he has looked forward to the day where he could be on his own and make all decisions for himself - it is difficult
to have two sets of parents steering your destiny. This dream that most fo us have had as children, now could forever only be
a dream for him.
On July 19, 2003, at the age of 18, the world, as we knew it, forever changed for him-and as drastically for the rest of our
family as well. Poor choices that many teens make found him asleep in the backseat of a teen drunk driver's vehicle, then
into the middle of a highway fighting for his life.
The call came while my husband and I were on the first vacation we had ever taken without four or five children. The Trauma
Surgeon on the line informed us that he had two life threatening injuries at the moment, swelling of the brain and he had
aspirated into his lungs- immediate surgery was necessary to remove his skull in order to relieve cranial pressure, to control
the hemorrhages in his brain, and to remove blood clots. After surgery, he was comatose and the diagnosis was a Severe diffuse
(whole brain)Traumatic Brain Injury. Major areas of damage were found in the left temporal and frontal lobes, as well as a
massive left to right mid-line shift. Upon our arrival at the Trauma Center several hours later, we were informed that Anthony
would not last the rest of the day. Well, they did not know our boy.
When Anthony was still alive, although comatose, over the next two months, the neurosurgeon informed us that he would remain
in a vegetative state for the rest of his life. Few hospital representatives allowed us to foster any hope for him. Again,
they did not know our boy- nor did they understand when we tried to explain that we believed in a much Higher Power than that
of any skill and knowledge all of them possessed combined.
Anthony has endured three brain surgeries (the last one this past December), with major setbacks with every one of them. He
has had to re-learn virtually everything, including how to swallow. Some things he has had to re-learn after every surgery.
The point is, that he has been able to re-learn a lot, despite my constant battles with insurance companies over coverage
denials and incompetent rehab facilities; despite setbacks at every turn.
Anthony has been in several rehab facilities and we have found that the only truely effective ones are post-acute facilities-
and no one wants to provide funding for these very pricey centers. These facilities have philosophies that apply only to brain
injured persons, separating their injuries from persons with other types of mental or physical disabilities. They understand
that our son is not physically disabled from a body injury, and that he is not mentally ill, therefore all of the
anti-psychotic drugs are only masking behaviors that can be re-learned and modified with the correct therapies and techniques.
He has a Severe Traumatic Brain Injury, and this is what the focus is on. For the most part, it is thanks to post-acute
inpatient therapy, that Anthony can talk, walk with assistance, wheel his own wheelchair, brush his teeth, use the restroom,
dress himself, and at least assist with most activities of daily living. These skills are still improving.
Anthony has retained most of his pre-injury memory (he lost about a year before his accident), and his short-term memory
continues to improve (although, typical of most children, it can be selective memory!). We feel blessed each and every day
that we still have him, no matter how different a person he is from the one we lost twenty months ago; a lot of his old self
still exists among the new person he is now.
Today Anthony is 20 years old...the battles continue-literally. Not everything is positive, of course. Currently, he is home
with my husband, Kevin, myself, and our four daughters, Krysta, 19, Dana, 17, NaTasha, 15, and Alexa, 9. He is a lot of work-
more emotional work than physical. Our family continues to be in crisis a lot of the time because we all suffer from his
uncontrollable anger rages, which sometimes become violent (and hamper therapy), and other inappropriate behaviors. These
behaviors have drastically improved from just under a year ago, however most families are simply not equipped to handle or
re-teach in the middle of chaos situations. He still needs inpatient post-acute rehab and the battle over funds is a never
ending battle for me.
If I could offer any advice to anyone, it would be to never give up, no matter how much negativity and adversity you face, and
to never stop being an advocate on the part of your loved one. At times I am sure I will just break down; I sometimes want to
give up- I have come to believe that these are normal feelings for a STBI survivor's family and caregivers- how else could you
cope? Still, time moves forward no matter how hard you drag your feet and you simply have to do what you have to do, there are
no other options- not when you love someone with your whole heart and soul.
Thank you for allowing me to share our story (although it is a VERY shortened version, as most of you know).
Sincerely,
C. Joy Bishop |
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